Tuesday, March 31, 2009

career change

tarot cards, fortune cookies, horoscopes - all have been telling me that my choice of occupation is ill suited to my personality and strengths as a human being. but i do like security. life is easier to tackle when you know for sure you'll be able to eat next week. so much as i hate _____ i was excited when my boss told me she was trying to get me hired as a permanent employee. then out of nowhere all the permanent employees were told that the facility they worked for years to qualify for a drug manufacturing license will be sold to some random company as soon as they finish (july). so there goes my permanent position.

maybe this is a sign. maybe the drug game just aint for me no more. maybe it never was. maybe i did what i did to be a provider and wasn't thinking about how important it is to be happy with what you do. i like that i help sick people. i like that i get to wear a lab coat. but fuck if i can't stand the giant, soul consuming, heart crushing multi-national healthcare juggernaut that i am currently whoring myself out to. i'm more johnny hobo than i am francis crick. always have been - always will be.

i know now that i should have gone to culinary school.

fuck it.

Friday, March 27, 2009

queen of hordes

i had an amateur tarot card reading. i was told that there was something due to me. that the struggles i have been enduring are nearing completion. essentially i was told that i was approaching "the end of an era" and that things would be exceptionally good. the caviat is that i have to take it for myself. whatever it is that is out there is just waiting for me. apparently i won't stumble across it, it won't fall into my lap. i have to seize it.

the thing standing in my way is the queen of swords. internet research has revealed that this could be an actual person or a force from within myself. the queen of swords is cold, calculating, logical and female. the psychic said that this person/force was in fact the cause of the struggles i have been facing for quite some time. but alas, there is hope. well kinda.

tarot cards are bullshit. everything i have so far related could easily be interpreted in a variety of ways depending on the person who recieves the information. the whole 'it could be a person or a force within yourself' could go two ways. if you're the kind of person who blames others for your lot in life then you would assume it's a person - some prime mover in your life that is looking to stiffle you at every turn. if you're the kind of person who looks at yourself as the source of your woes you would assume that 'whatever' is a function of your failures as a human being.

but sometimes bullshit has it's place. i can see how something like this would give someone hope or possibly a much needed change of trajectory. and i suppose it's better to have someone gain that insight from some random cards than to make up some batshit solution in their own head - or turning to religion which is bullshit as well but last time i checked no one ever got killed in the name of tarot cards. or at least not nearly as many as have been tortured in the name of the prince of peace. i digress.

in my case the reading was free, so ultimately i took as an opportunity to think about my life and what i need to do in order to be a happier, healthier human. but if i had paid money for it i'd probably be a little pissed.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

ohhhhh, it's on now!

harvesting the cube farm


"i feel like every actor does some indie film at some point, and i don't get it"
"yeah and they're ususally bad, like weird"

the eastside seems like another world sometimes

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

getting better all the time

  • got my new phone yesterday. the camera phone pics i've taken with it are the clearest they will ever be.
  • moving on saturday. bigger room. smaller rent. 2 kitchens. 6 blocks from the bus stop it usually takes me half and hour to get to. yay wallingford!
  • i'm coming out of my cycle - finally.
  • miracle whip makes the most mundane sandwich taste like some gourmet lunch action.
  • i ate three actual meals yesterday, including 2 servings of fruit and one vegetable. fuck yeah!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

first time for everything

i think i got my first cell phone back in '02. i've dropped them, dropped them in water, left them places etc, but never actually totally and completely lost one.

however, sometime on friday during a very stumbly and long walk home my phone and i were separated. one lost phone in 6 years? i think that's a pretty good track record.

anyways, if you haven't already, please email me your phone number. i'll have a new phone on monday but it won't do me much good if i can't get a hold of no one.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

the secret to a good day

get your morning going right with a small, inconsequential victory and/or minor success.

yay for mediocrity!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

just in case

Last spd I almost caught a case prior to ditching California forever.


Watch your ass. Specially in TO.

drinking with a dead man

happy st. patricks day

Friday, March 13, 2009

hungry kids and butt sex

you might have to click on it to see it properly.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

breathing to death

if pure, unadulterated death could be distilled into a liquid, it would be trifluoroacetic acid.

not only will this shit eat through gloves but it rapidly evaporates. said vapor turns into this nice whispy white smoke when it comes in contact with air, dissolving itself into the local atmosphere instantly making it hard to breathe.

yay for TFA!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

fuck all this nonsense

anybody want to drop everything and move to athens, ga?

how 'bout nashville?

let's go!

how to get sued

new stuff up at crappy paint art.

revel in it's glory.


Monday, March 9, 2009

bipolar thought patterns

  • one of my favorite things is rainfall in the sunshine. imagine my joy at the same phenomenon but with snow.
  • there is a term for a divorced 27 year old with no permanent housing, a substantial amount of debt, no prospects for significant employment into the future and absolutely nothing to show for the last 6 years of his life - loser.
  • i did a post mortem on my spending over the last 90 days. i never want to go to a bar again.
  • coolio was arrested for crack.
  • meghan mccain is pretty hot - for a member of the hitler youth.
  • if someone had the imagination to dream up the TARDIS why has no one had the imagination to successfully bring one to market?
  • does a jewish magician cast a spiel? (from NPR)
  • i'm losing my desire to leave the house. ever. for any reason.
  • the beard and glasses are successfully isolating me from the opposite sex.
  • on friday my grandfather is having surgery remove most of his midsection. if you want to know what that means, get in line because i do too.
  • i hate everything

Friday, March 6, 2009

just a suggestion.

attention single female seattlites!!!

i am looking for a new place. as it seems that all people vacating tenements this month are in fact young single females, i just wanted raise the issue that it might be a good idea to put your soiled undies in a hamper or under the bed if necessary. i'm not offended or anything but it's a little distracting to see your dirty g-strings strewn about the floor like the workspace of jenna jameson's on-set costume coordinator. i'm interested in your room not your preferences for vaginal support.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

trip highlights

  • gave an anarchist and a quaker a ride to olympia and portland, respectively.
  • the quaker asked me if "being married changed my outlook on dating or relationships?" i explained "no, i am just as sappy, stupid and trusting about these things as i always was and i continue to take everything that everyone says to me at face value" just kidding.
  • beat james woodhead at scrabble.
  • realized i left my photo card in my computer and bought a new one for $7.
  • rode I-84, stopping at every state park that didn't have a fee.
  • visited multomah falls. took generic pictures.
  • entered mt. hood national forest. pulled off to try out the snowshoes.
  • locked my keys in my trunk.
  • tried desperately to get my dying phone to work, eventually walking into the middle of a snowy pasture where i intermittently got 1-2 bars.
  • eventually got ahold of roadside assistance.
  • waited two hours
  • tried to remember my boy scout survival training from 16 years ago; started considering which arm i should eat first.
  • it started to get cloudy.
  • it started to snow.
  • tow truck guy shows up.
  • more showshoeing.
  • ate dinner at microbrew in hood river.
  • went to aunt debbie's in portland.
  • told her i just wanted to rest and drive home that night. fell asleep 15 minutes later.
  • woke up 10 hours later.
  • drove home