Tuesday, March 31, 2009

career change

tarot cards, fortune cookies, horoscopes - all have been telling me that my choice of occupation is ill suited to my personality and strengths as a human being. but i do like security. life is easier to tackle when you know for sure you'll be able to eat next week. so much as i hate _____ i was excited when my boss told me she was trying to get me hired as a permanent employee. then out of nowhere all the permanent employees were told that the facility they worked for years to qualify for a drug manufacturing license will be sold to some random company as soon as they finish (july). so there goes my permanent position.

maybe this is a sign. maybe the drug game just aint for me no more. maybe it never was. maybe i did what i did to be a provider and wasn't thinking about how important it is to be happy with what you do. i like that i help sick people. i like that i get to wear a lab coat. but fuck if i can't stand the giant, soul consuming, heart crushing multi-national healthcare juggernaut that i am currently whoring myself out to. i'm more johnny hobo than i am francis crick. always have been - always will be.

i know now that i should have gone to culinary school.

fuck it.