Monday, April 27, 2009

Lemay St.

i'm writing this from the so-called airport in redmond, oregon. it's one of those places that makes you say to yourself "what strange and twisted series of events has brought me to THIS place?" you really have to see it to get the full impact of what i'm saying.

this weekend i spent an unusual amount of time at the hospital i was born in. last time i was there i'm pretty sure i peed all over my doctor. 27 years later and little has changed - i'm still peeing on people.

driving through reseda on the way to the hospital i realized i was exceptionally close to (one of) my childhood home(s). we also lived across the street from this particular house but this is the one where i remember becoming conscious of my existence and therefore is slightly more meaningful.

simi hasn't changed very much. those "skin industries" bro-pricks still take over the patio at TGI Fridays on...well...fridays. the streets are still freakishly wide. the cops are still intimidating and the MILFs are still trying to emulate their whorish daughters from behind the wheels of SUVs they really have no good reason to be driving. by brother in law still thinks god sent him to earth to consume energy as ineffieciently as possible. my mom is still neurotic. my sister still isn't pregnant and i still don't live there, both to the shagrin of my grandmother (e.g. 'pack your bags, we're going on a guilt trip'.)

what has changed? more stoplights, more driveways named after dead cops as well as abstract ideas like 'freedom' and 'liberty'. an extra lane on the 118. my favorite burrito is more expense and they've gotten damn stingy with the salsa which was disappointing. i also now find southern california sunlight oppressive.

i'm told i'll need be back there within a week. let's hope not.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

take a look back

there's a lot of talk about obama's first one hundred days in office.

as much as i do like the man i thought it was important to look at things in a historical context and realize how arbitrary and inaccurate a measurement this can be.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


if i've learned anything about myself it is the amazing extent to which i am totally willing to hang myself if it means i get to pull the door out from under an enemy, effectively taking them with me.

Monday, April 20, 2009

week ending 04/19/09

so you may notice that a week is missing from the half marathon training schedule. that's because i didn't train at all last week. my goal was 20 miles of which i ran exactly 0% of. here's the list of things i did instead:
  • worked 65 hours.
  • drove some friends to portland to see dr. dog on wednesday, forced them to eat del taco.
  • got kinda drunk in a random tavern (in portland) and found out i was sitting next to a guy who went to the same school (Sherman Oaks Center for Enriched Studies which actually is in Reseda and relatively speaking, no where near Sherman Oaks) as me in 4th grade. he was a year behind me so we weren't classmates or anything but it was random. we talked about the bitter science teacher with skin cancer- mr. pugh (pronounced pew as in pee-yew).
  • booked a ticket to go to Slimey in may.
  • got my ass handed to me in scrabble. twice.
  • skated down stone to jonathans house.
  • ushered in spring with a late passover sader, 3 bottles of manechewitz and a hearty bonfire at golden gardens. jumped in the sound in my skiveys. fell asleep in the sand. twice.

additionally i would be remiss if i didn't say THAT IT IS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL TODAY!!!! omfg! wtfwjd? bbq.

Friday, April 17, 2009

notes from oblivion #7

if you thought as much about life as you do about money, you'd burn mill creek to the ground and drive your luxury sedan into the puge.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

dear portland

until i met you i thought my heart would stay black forever.
the first time we danced i looked into your eyes and knew i wanted to stay in that moment forever.
i want to walk in the shadows of your twelve bridges and bask in the glow of your two dollar pints.
if i never know the thrill of your touch, if i never have you again,
if we never turn the interludes of affair into true love at least we'll have those nights.
and they'll mean more to me than anything ever will, ever again.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


uhhhh why didn't anyone tell me that three mile pilot is back together and touring!

june 20th. hell fuck yes!

Monday, April 13, 2009

notes from oblivion # 2

"i hope your stock portfolio tanks and you have to sell your house at a massive loss. that and you have to sell one of your BMWs."

notes from oblivion # 3

"Were you born being this big of an asshole or have you just smelled like fart your whole life?"

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

flying too close to the sun

so a while back i posted about the new defiance, ohio ep - the proceeds of which (100%) go to the icarus project. last night some kids from the olympia chapter were at the show to read a little from navigating the space between brilliance and madness which was so empowering and inspirational that i felt it appropriate to share.


it feels like i talk to you everyday.
even though i never hear your voice.
happy birthday.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

hide the porn! fuck - hide the bong! shit - hide the porn in the bong!

Ayuda me!

As I type this I am sitting at a jack in the box in Martha Lake, trying exceptionally hard to look like I am engaged in a text conversation in order to avoid speaking to a creepy dude who my work has brought me in contact with but is not a co-worker. All I wanted was a quiet lunch and now I'm paralyzed with fear as I casually eat fries wondering why he's sitting in the parking lot watching me. I'm also curious as to why he's now opened his trunk for the second time and I'm trying to figure out what he's got in there: gloves? Rope? Bleach? Fuck! If I die before the defiance, ohio show I'm going to be pissed.

Monday, April 6, 2009

ahhh seattle

it's such a beautiful day - getting up into the 70's....

i wanted so bad to be reading in the park today that i devised a plan:

drink coffee until diahhrea kicks in - legitimately being able to claim illness, i would then secure some immodium, pay my library fine and then go read in the park. but since i started running again my bowels are as solid as a slab of steel. so now here i sit, gassy, staring at the blue sky, cursing my mizunos.

damn you mizunos!!!!

Friday, April 3, 2009

friday surprise

i have something for all of you. it's been a long time in the making, but ultimately didn't take that long to make. so please, do enjoy this for although it was highly therapeutic for me it was ultimately done with the purpose of entertaining in mind.

clickity-click here