while on my pseudo-vacation to cali, seattle and i had our six month anniversary. it seemed apropos to be back there when that happened. when i was getting ready to leave i was kicking around the thought that i would be tempted to return to cali. in hindsight that was damn stupid. i got to see some friends and family members, even some former family members. it was nice to catch up, have a drink (then another drink, repeat ad nausem) get a taco etc.
as the days wore on it did become painfully clear (in a literal sense) as to why i left and why i'm not going back. i could elucidate them, potentially and unintentionally insulting some people in the process (not you). the point is that this is home now. i could easily go back to so cal. i could be warm and well fed. i could numb my mind with video games and pot and satellite television and not worry about getting my bills paid. screw that. maybe this isn't how i expected my life to turn out. maybe if given the chance i would have done things differently and done more to try to alter the trajectory that brought me here. but i can't and no one can. this is the life i've made for myself and to whatever extent it is possible for me to be happy, i am. or at the very least at peace with my surroundings. so there.
