Tuesday, February 24, 2009

how to become a swinger (embarrassment therapy)



  1. secure ipod - make sure you have good headphones and a playlist with songs you know ALL the words to.

  2. find a good park - the ideal park will have really good swings but be in close proximity to houses. the point is people have to hear you so if it's frequented by walkers or other such types that's ok too.

  3. turn it up - i recommend full blast; that way you can't hear anything anyone might be saying about you, nor can you hear yourself.

  4. swing - like you just don't care.

  5. sing - like no one can hear you.

trust me when it's over you'll feel great and won't rightly give a fuck what anybody in the world thinks of you.

self esteem reclaimed you will approach the days with a grand sense of whimsy. nothing will bother you ever again.

guaranteed or my name isn't squiggles the salamander.